Kit's Superchild

I see myself slipping. Thinking I am more important than other people. Thinking I'm better or smarter. But I'm not. I goof off. I don't do what I need to do all the time. I feel like I'm running at 25% all the time. I should worry less about others and do my own things. I need to finish the comic book now. Edit my book. Find some readers. Find optimum health for my mind. Blueberries and pancakes go together right? I wonder. There are these moments when I feel like they should sync up better. When I wonder what are the thoughts of blueberries? My thoughts are not constantly about fear. Where is the curiosity? Last night was amazing. I still wanted to sleep with him but I was ok. To feel his breath on my neck, the welcomed tight embrace of his arms pulling me close in his deepest sleep. I just like it, but no, I don't need it. To look someone in the face and say that I want them to stay in my life for a really long time. And mean it. Love is hard. Love is brain chemistry. Some lust is in there? Maybe. I've spoken of trust before, but really, how much do you know yourself? What's right for you? ...I choose what's right for me. Those damn awkward pauses though. What are those? I try not to fill them. I don't want to. What's in that head? Is it really just fear and worry? It may not be mine to give, but I want to give comfort. Well, for now I trust you. I TRUST you. That you want to be beautiful inside and out and that you are. Your modesty, your honesty, your passion for the city I love as well, your loner personality, your maturity, your sexual nature keeping me on my painted toes, the fact that I can keep my shining self in your presence. When I fulfill some of my goals, I think I will know who I am better. Focus.