Sunday, June 24, 2012

Where Did You Sleep Last Night?

In a universe where Missy had 3 kids by two different daddies. One was Bob Dylan. It's in my book, but I like to think that the multiverse is out there and that there are many many versions of you and that somehow you are connected to all of them. In dreams. In dreams you experience a clip of the life of one of your other selves. And it seems really crazy because the laws of physics change with each budding universe and your timeline is different. So when you dreamt* that you got murdered, you really did. Poor you. Have a funeral for yourself, ok?

*I like to use "dreamt" instead of "dreamed". "Dreamt" is apparently more for British people. I met a British guy I think.

And now my health journey: I think I'm going to do a hardcore 30 day raw thing. Soonish. Monday or Tuesday. I'm running a lot more. I try for 30 minutes everyday. Which equals 3-4 times a week. I'm going away from baked goods even though I ate a biscotti today. Sweet+Sara. Yum. I only drink two cups of coffee in the morning. I usually only eat salad. But with fatty dressing. I'm doing ball exercises too and using 10lb weights.

Um. I have to go bye. Going to see if Stephanie wants to do 30 days with me. :)

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Kit's Superchild

I see myself slipping. Thinking I am more important than other people. Thinking I'm better or smarter. But I'm not. I goof off. I don't do what I need to do all the time. I feel like I'm running at 25% all the time. I should worry less about others and do my own things. I need to finish the comic book now. Edit my book. Find some readers. Find optimum health for my mind. Blueberries and pancakes go together right? I wonder. There are these moments when I feel like they should sync up better. When I wonder what are the thoughts of blueberries? My thoughts are not constantly about fear. Where is the curiosity? Last night was amazing. I still wanted to sleep with him but I was ok. To feel his breath on my neck, the welcomed tight embrace of his arms pulling me close in his deepest sleep. I just like it, but no, I don't need it. To look someone in the face and say that I want them to stay in my life for a really long time. And mean it. Love is hard. Love is brain chemistry. Some lust is in there? Maybe. I've spoken of trust before, but really, how much do you know yourself? What's right for you? ...I choose what's right for me. Those damn awkward pauses though. What are those? I try not to fill them. I don't want to. What's in that head? Is it really just fear and worry? It may not be mine to give, but I want to give comfort. Well, for now I trust you. I TRUST you. That you want to be beautiful inside and out and that you are. Your modesty, your honesty, your passion for the city I love as well, your loner personality, your maturity, your sexual nature keeping me on my painted toes, the fact that I can keep my shining self in your presence. When I fulfill some of my goals, I think I will know who I am better. Focus.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Physics Damn!, I Am Hungover

Got wasted last night off of Red Wine. Worst hangover of the year by far. I am never drinking more than three glasses. Even though I never want to drink again. It was for Jody's Bday. Which was awesome. Working out a lot. Running 30 minutes. I try everyday. Pushups and exercise ball and leg workouts. Yum. My body already looks different. I'm trying to be raw everyday. On this hangover day I ate a sandwich and jerky. But for the most part this whole month I've been raw. I cut out sugary stuff except for fruit and loveforce bars of course. I'm going to try to make my own. Ugh. no drinking!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Add More Pics Bitch

My health now: no cigs, no alcohol for a week and a half, high raw. Still need to tweak rawness with dressings. I think I can be raw. I mean I'm really having cravings for mashed potatoes and pizza. Which I will let myself have. After lots of exercise. I am definitely going to try really hard to only eat raw vegan dessert. The raw taco supreme sounds good to me right now. Maybe I can plan a trip to nyc for a raw vegan dinner. I need to cut out caffeine. Still. I love blueberry. We are shaky. But it's ok. I need to keep growing.