How Hot is the Oven?

I just drank too much coffee. Well, I'm still drinking it. I'm going to "declutter" my life. (saw this on sign-1-800-DECLUTTER) Throw all papers away. Donate clothes to Fairhaven Thriftstore. Clean out my trunk. I'm going to quit coffee tomorrow and drink tea instead and then no caffeine at least for a couple months or so. When I feel like I can I want to do a Master Cleanse thingie over the/a weekend.
I'm listening to this nice music. Coffee shop-Groove. I think to myself 'where do they live?' People that listen to this music. It sounds like techno. and indie. I'm not being negative, but I feel like they live in a world of rotating pictures, model shots. smiles. It's fake, but who the fuck cares. It just happens to be their reality. I have my own...
today is Halloween. Fucking Halloween. I need to take a walk. (this next song is annoying, maybe I just want silence) Now when I drive I can't even stand NPR. I want to hear nothing. Weird. I guess. I'm hoping it's more mental stability in the right direction. Danny doesn't listen to music very often I think. I'll have to ask. I need my Halloween back. I'll find you. I have to leave this fucking coffee place or I am going to throw this speaker. I don't care about Willie Nelson. Rowr. I am bitchy today. I'm still annoyed I have to scare people for one more night. Damn it. And it's still going to be fun. Bye.

Developed A Taste for Cars?!

I don't mind you comin here...3 days left of Nightmare. I feel good. No drinking, no smoking. Eating moderately healthy. No exercise though. Ate lots of chips.

Steatopygia!

I miss George John a lot. It's only been 3 days. Meh. It's a good missing though. I would like to sleep. And wish very much that people would stop talking to me. Shit. Someone just talked to me. Going to move downtown. Hopefully, this will make my mind feel better to hardly drive at all.
I start yoga and cardio classes November 15th. This should up healthy levels. Really wanted to drink last night. And smoke cigarettes. Even went so far as to pull up to Crazy Fox and then drive away. Bakersfield was out drunk and dancing. Made me very anxious. And that was going to be my tipping point. And I thought about that in that exact moment and felt like that was probably not good. I need to stretch in the morning everyday and cut down on coffee. Up water. When I start making up multiple reasons why I should do something...Very glad I didn't drink. Super tired after 6 hours of sleep. Probably just worn out in general. Read over what I have for "Spirit Knight". It is very loose. My storyline is way off. I may have to edit stuff in first book. Need to tighten up Gem's character.

Convoluted or Interrobang?!

Well, hey there crazy. One minute you're happy and in the next five minutes Pre-cal puts you into a murderous rage. All the sudden you think maybe you shouldn't be a physicist. What?! the ?! fuck?! Now I have to calm down. Go meditate. I don't like the word meditate. I'm coming up with a new one. I really like how Bakersfield corrects himself to use "physics" instead of "lord/god". The new word for meditation is interrobang I've decided. I'm not going to clear my mind, I'm going to go float on a hoverboard (clear). Hoverboard is not in the blogger dictionary. Ha but blogger is. Nice. I got angry because of vector addition. I felt like I was just computing and not understanding the concepts. And I felt like everyone else was either getting it or just faking it (which really pissed me off).
Ok, so vector addition is force with direction and then adding that to another force with direction (magnitude). And it is based on the concepts of trigonometry.
I'm going to pretend to be a journalist so I can interview people I (may) admire. I decided that my anger could be solved with some interrobang, running, yoga, those last two I may not do, and supplementation reading about trig and vectors at Barnes & Noble before Uss Nightmare. I need examples, I need applications. The farther I go in Calculus, the more I realize...(Charles, remember to pick up a grammar book, I'm pretty sure your placement of commas is appalling) ...that most of it is fucking inference. This shit is not fucking easy. Without your teacher constantly reminding you, you would be fucking lost. I mean really. And if you do get this easily you probably have no luck with the ladies/guys. haha. Look at that. My little ego is getting hurt because I don't understand this shit. fuck. swive. Inference. that looks wrong. anyway. Most of the math I'm doing/ will do, I will have to really think about. The answers will not jump out at you. And I just found out my Calc teacher was a Mechanical Engineer. BTW I capitalize whatever I want.
I think I feel better right now. Except. I cannot work two jobs or a lot while going to school. I cannot drink or smoke cigs ever. I need to publish my book but I don't have enough money. Because I want the cover to be the way I want. And the font. I am going to make money off writing books. So that I can write and go to school. This is THE plan. I will not fuck it up.
I gotta go to the costume store to look at animal costumes. My fetish is Fluffies or Furries or whatever they're called. I like fluffies better. I'm going to fluff the shit out of Bakersfield in my honey badger costume. chupacabra. I'm out.

A One Sided Race

I'm standing on the edge of cliff looking down always. The thing that makes me feel better is that there is another me behind me and sometimes when the other looks in too deep, about to fall in, the other me grabs the collar of her shirt and yanks her back. I hope this cookie is vegan.

Amoeba Dance

I wonder what my face looks like to someone else. Not all the time. Just right now. Working back to back. Need sleep. Want to go to a garage sale today. I got the vegan cupcakes. Very good. I feel better that I feel in control. Might lose something down the road but _ _ _, will have its advantages. ICBFY.  Was reading "Time" magazine...pause...I just claimed Bakersfield. Awkward. Well, not really. Sort of. You really can't help it if your significant one gives out free hugs and you want everyone to know, "Hey, buddy. That's as far as you're going to get. Here's your ___. Don't cross it. I have Chuparaptors.  Don't make me use them." ...play...in this magazine that I respect mind you, the phrase in reference to spinach and why it is good for you without an explanation is, "'Nuff said." No, I am not fucking around. I saw it very poorly while my eyes were dilated (sp). 

Cupcakes!!!!

My nose is stuffed. I drank a laxative last night. I think it's about to hit me. I really want a coffee. I am going to get a green tea latte with soy at Kroger's Starbucks before my eye doctor appointment.

I am having someone at work make me vegan Cupcakes!!! Tonight! Whoa! I am excited.

My brain feels good. Woke up late this morning though. Probably because I stayed up too late watching "Haven". (The suspense! I needed to know what happened in this made up world!) I really have to go.

Feeling Better

My throat still hurts. It was worse yesterday, especially last night. I woke up with one nostril stuffed. I took a vitamin c thingie. I think it helped. I am ubiquitous. No.
I never want to smoke again. I have no cravings for them either. I also have not been to the bar in awhile. On purpose. Not really any cravings for alcohol except wine. And even then I feel that a single glass would suffice (RED).
Oh, hey I forgot I was supposed to read science news articles during this break.
I am more sharp.
I gave up coffee. Not caffeine. I won't mind caffeinated teas.
On a side note: It is very nice to wake up next to Bakersfield. It really sets off my day nicely. Especially when I spend the night there and don't meet my quota of enjoyable showers.
I felt like I was obstinate yesterday. I was disagreeing with everything said. And I noticed it as I was doing it. Blah. It's one thing for me to ponder and pose questions, but it is another thing to be an asshole.
I'm sensitive right now. My eyes still hurt.
I have to put the reigns on my excessive eating. It's 11:49am. Hunger just started. That's way too late. Or maybe not. Because now I feel light-headed.
I'm going to drink a lot more juices. None of that bottled crap. Fresh juices. They taste way better. So no morning coffee. I am going to substitute with a green juice or a cocktail of healthy things. I would like to also take a beauty pill. For anti-aging and healthy nails, hair, and skin.
Realize I don't really have time or energy for running right now. Hopefully, yoga though. Class time. I'm hungry. Gonna eat mashed potatoes. Chupacabra.

Omneity

My throat hurts. Haven't smoked any cigarettes or drank. My eyeballs hurt. I want to cuddle and go to sleep. I made a graph that shows how much I think about sex. Not viable at all, but looks passable. Fuck. My eyes hurt. I'm going to punch someone. Not sure why. Maybe I innately think that passes on pain. I might get sick. Throat hurts. Sneezed some. Took two vitamin c thingies. Drank 1 cup of cold care tea and 1 immunity tea. Dexter told me he has so many math classes he thinks he's number five. My face is itchy from USSN make-up. Not cool. I feel fat. Not cool. I'm going to go for a run in the morning. The carrot will be having my ritual coffee. Whoa. I'm totally going to run then. I have to mix paint. 

Jokers

Overeating. No cigs or alcohol since birthday party night. Still drinking too much caffeine. Feeling real existential. Just ate a 500 calorie cookie. Yum.