Ugh.

Still watching tv....thinking about going for a run. I need to. Damn it, if I can't be productive I can be skinny. Or not. I could put a story up and I could go running. This sounds good. I am copying another girl, but whatever. Watching the bitch in apartment 23.

I am boring...

My life is boring. I hope by saying that I am not inviting rape into my run time. Oh, man. This show is hilarious. And I want to eat more vegan chocolate chip cookies. That I made. Which are fucking awesome. And I have perfected.

Quick health update though: Drank to celebrate good grades. 7 beers in three days. Shit. 10 cigs. Please boyfriend do not read my blog. Abracadabra.

And I feel terrible. Well, a little better than terrible.

Stuck

Oh man, I feel like the laziest piece of shit. I managed to pass all my classes. Two A's, a B-, and a C. I'm ecstatic. Sort of. I have been watching Tv like it's a drug I'm addicted to. It's terrible. I quit smoking and drinking for this shit. Blah. It's like I don't want to feel anymore.

Too much coffee, too, I think. I need more walks. My body is trying to get sick after celebrating my grades. Too much drinking and smoking. I totally want to exercise, but I'm afraid of getting sick.

Boring.

Where do I draw the line though?

I need balance. Everyone needs balance. I don't get it. I can't handle alcohol. It's going to be awhile. Too much socializing, too. And not the right kind. We are all too selfish. Or too boring. Goddamn. No winning this game, eh? I do want to play boggle with Steve, though.

I miss summer already. I act like it'd be my savior, but I know that's not true. Me and the sun don't play nice. I get sunsick.

Meditate, take walks, draw, and write. That's what I'm prescribing myself. Drink it down with lots of water and vegan chocolate chip cookies. I made them super good this time.

P.S. Goals

Get to Germany next year.

Send a manuscript to an agent.

Get to 105# by New Year's

I think I am sticking to Physics and double majoring with German

X-Files...Again

Saturday night spent watching X-Files and doing Calculus. Ten problems 9 pm to 2:20 am. Wow. I really need to quit watching tv while I do my homework.
But I need to start writing every night. So here I am. This is my health blog. Sort of. So I will write a little about that:
I have quit smoking pretty much all the way.  I still get the urge like on my bday Oct. 1. And I did smoke one and felt effing terrible. The sad thing is that I really don't care if I smoke or not. Just like I have begun not to care about Physics. But I am doing it anyway.
I have not been meditating! unfortunately. I have not been running a lot either which sucks. Next semester I won't have to work as much so I can run more and write more and study more.
I still drink coffee everyday except I limit it to one cup in the morning.

Word of the day is "Twiddle".

I still take a multi-vitamin by Deva. The green one. And I take e3 renew. Pretty much everyday, but sometimes I forget.
I have not been drinking much at all. I super drank on my bday and alcohol poisoned myself. Kind of. I drank 2 beers last night and woke up ok. Kind of. Mostly.

Decided to let go of drawing. I am a writer. I like physics. This is me. Not the artist. I'm a crafty scientist? Not yet. Just a being.

Violet

Thinking about dying my hair purple. That's not why the title is "Violet". It's Hole.

I wish I could drink a lot of alcohol. What the fuck, right? It seems like a drink would be so nice. Three would be nice. Staying up till 3 am after playing pool all night and smoking cigarettes sounds so nice.

But I quit smoking. I hardly ever drink. The only vices I have now are sugar and coffee. Not even sex. Which, if you knew me would be one, but it's not. My sexy man has me whipped. In a weird sort of way. I do get laid though, pretty frequently.

Again, this blog is about my health journey. Ultimate health. Feeling my absolute best. I feel tired. Can't exercise much, but I try to run and do some exercise videos on youtube. I gotta go across country and go to California. See Hollywood. It's all about the experience.

I count calories like a half-assed motherfucker. 1500 a day keeps the pounds away. And really between work and school, I don't have much time to eat. I do squeeze in a lot of web surfing and fucking TV though.

Gotta do Calc.

Later.

I am weird and listening to Hole's "Live Through This" repeatedly.

Physics Do Or Don't

I'm still deciding whether to do Physics as my major. It is hard. To decide and hard to do the work. This vegan pumpkin cupcake is fucking yum-licious. My breakfast: one cup of coffee, one cup of decaf coffee, and one dank-ass pumpkin cupcake.

I just spent two hours doing German HW. Now it's time to start Calculus. I might go home for that and not stay at Collective for that.

Oh, man. I have to go. But should I do Physics or Creative Writing?

Roebling Books and Coffee

So I'm at the aforementioned coffee shop. I have not had any alcohol since mid-June. I feel good about it. So that's what? 6 weeks? hmm. More time should pass. I usually give in because I am stressed. I still drink coffee everyday. With sugar. I am trying to lessen the sugar though. Wheat grass made my heart palpitate when I added to my regimen. I laid off my vitamins for 4 days I think. I worry about my liver.
I still watch too much tv. After Danny's 2nd reunion this weekend, I am cutting off Netflix. I have some goals:
Study more Calculus
Edit Defective.
Lose 5lbs.
Eat more raw
Practice guitar
Print out more copies of my 2 short stories

And come back to this cute coffee shop. It is relaxing. I am going to take a peek at my book now and get some water.